People need to have good listening and communication skills in order to have healthy relationships. Moreover, it will be crucial for anyone recovering from a gambling addiction. But, many times people are set in their ways and have developed unhealthy habits when it comes to talking with family and friends. For a person to improve these skills it will take hard work and practice. So, if you are open to changing the way you communicate with people it then half the battle is won because most people do not like change! One article discusses how some relationships can end disastrously but how a person can learn from this experience. Especially, if they are willing to develop their skills.
The first tip when speaking with someone is to not talk at the same time. How many of us can relate to this? It is very simple, you cannot listen if you are talking. Next, it is important for you to make the other person feel comfortable when having a conversation. So, look at the person and give welcoming body language (i.e. don’t cross your arms) so they know you are listening to them without being threatening. Also it is important to show the person that you are interested in what they are saying. For instance, you should turn off the television or your phone. This will help the other person realize that what they are saying is important.
Another great way to demonstrate to a friend or loved one that you are listening is to show empathy. In other words try to put yourself in their shoes. You can also rephrase what they are saying and this will show understanding on your part. If you ask questions this will also show the person you are listening. Next, allow the person to say what’s on their mind. It is vital to give the person the time to express what their concerns are. This is especially important for gamblers in recovery because it is usually the case that we have violated a person’s trust at some point in the relationship. Also, don’t get angry and fly off the handle when you hear something you do not like or agree with. This will ruin a conversation quickly!
The funny thing about speaking with people we know is that we have become so comfortable with them that we often have developed terrible habits. But if you can give these tips a shot then you can break away from your normal routines. By doing this you will be on a path to developing healthier relationships. Try it and see the improvements!
Gambling is an activity that has been around for centuries. People will bet on anything – from sporting events to how much snow is going to fall to who’s going to win an Oscar. There are several “legal” ways to gamble in states which have passed the proper legislation, including lotteries, scratch tickets, casinos and the horse track. There is, however, a lot of illegal gambling also.
Some of us are aware of the harm that problem gambling can do to a person and their loved ones. Problem gamblers can easily accrue insurmountable debt. They often feel compelled to start lying about finances and how much time they’re spending away from home or otherwise occupied, which can easily build mistrust among family, friends and employers. Increased Isolation is another big part of compulsive gambling. When a person gets their first “taste” by winning big or an exciting day, are they aware of these potential problems? Most likely not. Not all recreational gamblers become addicts. But addicts do start out as recreational gamblers and then once they cross that line all hell breaks loose.
Would it make sense to just ban gambling altogether? It could save our society from a lot of grief. Just as we ban drugs for the greater good, could we not do the same with gambling? People suffer from hopelessness, despair and isolation associated with a gambling addiction and in some cases, chooses to take their own lives because of it.
According to Michael Goldman, senior employee assistance program counselor in Cook County (Illinois), it’s estimated that 18-25 percent of compulsive gamblers will attempt suicide. With an estimated two million compulsive gamblers and four-to-six million problem gamblers in the U.S., the potential for larger numbers of suicide deaths brought on by gambling is significant.
Families who have lived through the devastation a compulsive gambler can bring into their lives would certainly agree with banning gambling. Then why don’t we do it? Probably because so many companies are making money through gambling, not to mention the tax benefits. A recent article discusses one coach’s take on banning gambling. He presents a unique argument in the article stating that there are times when a person has done nothing with their life yet on a single bet can become a millionaire. He goes on to say it just doesn’t seem fair when you think about a person who works night and day just to make ends meet. Well just like baseball, gambling is a national pastime. Who in their right mind would ever think to ban people from baseball? It just wouldn’t happen, unless of course, you are Pete Rose!
Treatment programs focus on several concepts that will help you learn how to stop a gambling addiction. One of them is changing our thinking. By changing our words, we can start to change the way we think. Remember, addiction is a “thinking” disease.
Many patients wonder how they will stop gambling forever. Forever is quite a concept to wrap one’s head around. Let’s change how we think about this. Instead of not gambling forever, focus on not gambling for one day. This idea seems to make this goal much more manageable. It can be applied to other seemingly daunting tasks. For instance, if someone has a huge list of things to accomplish it can be overwhelming. By focusing on just the top three items, stress may be reduced. In other words, break down large goals into smaller, more achievable ones.
Changing our thinking can also be useful when we communicate with others. Loved ones often say to their partner “you need to” stop gambling. As a husband, I hated it when my wife told me I “needed” to do something. If she had changed her message, maybe saying it would be a “good choice” to stop gambling, then I think the idea would have been more appealing. It would have been much less of a threat in my mind.
For a person in recovery, words can make a world of difference. Many addicts view things in an” all or nothing way”. A recent article discusses the benefits of “grey” thinking and changing our language can be beneficial. For example, one might say, “I am a bad person”. It’s hard to believe that someone is bad all of the time. But it is reasonable to think that the person made “some bad decisions” and once in recovery, their decisions will be healthier and more mature.
One might think going to a meeting is going to be “awful”. Using phrases that are less black and white, such as, “I’m not sure I’ll like it, but I’m willing to go”, lessens the severity of the idea. So, let’s break negative patterns of thinking and start practicing a new way of looking at things. It certainly can make a difference in your recovery. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose!
Gambling Addiction Centers and Managing Catastrophic Events.
Some people in recovery will claim that if something catastrophic happens in their lives then they will be destined to relapse. For instance, if my wife or husband leaves me then I will definitely gamble. For others the catastrophic event might be a death in the family or getting fired from a job. One thing for sure is that if a person’s desire to remain gamble free is conditional then they will gamble eventually.
So, let’s discuss whether the catastrophic events are legitimate or just excuses. The fact of the matter is that bad things will happen in a person’s life. There is a lot of tragedy, a lot of disappointments and unexpected expenses that will undoubtedly occur. These things happen to all people. While they can be challenging, people do get through these situations without gambling. If an addict chooses to relapse over such events then they really are making excuses to use.
The point here is not to set yourself up for a relapse. Addicts could use for many other reasons too. For example, they might gamble to be social, or to reduce anxiety. They might even think they have the ability to better control their finances. A recent article discusses how a gambling relapse can destroy a person’s life and that there is help for those who have a problem and want to stop.
The key to living a gamble free life is to accept the reality that you do not have to gamble to get through the problems you may face. Experiencing these emotions can be very unpleasant but the feelings will go away. Life has its ups and downs. The tricky thing about using drugs to get through a bad situation is that it may seem to help initially. But the truth is it really is a temporary solution because when a person sobers up the person the feelings will be worse!. So develop a habit of not gambling and you will gain more strength as you successfully get through each twist that life may present to you.
Go to any casino and look around and listen; Smiling, laughing folks taking a chance at the poker tables, roulette and the slots, the buzz of excitement is in the air. Did you know that in that crowd, there may be a several players who are not enjoying themselves at all? What’s going on with them? It is not always clear, but that is the reality for millions who gamble regularly to the point of obsession and compulsion.
One former patient discussed how he would be down more than a thousand dollars and on one spin of the slot machine would be back at even money again. Most people would be ecstatic to break even from that sort of streak of bad luck. Furthermore, most people would get the hell out of there as quickly as possible! They would be relieved to have come back from disaster, but not this former high-stakes slots player…
His mindset was such that he felt because of his $500 loss the week before, he had to play until he won that back. At first, he would say to himself that he would only gamble with a few hundred dollars and then stop. Yet before long he had lost that $200 and began dipping into what he had left. He thought his luck would just HAVE to change again. But when it comes to gambling it’s all random and luck has nothing to do with it!
Unfortunately, this is how a compulsive gambler plays. In addition, imagine this former client winning back a thousand dollars, breaking even, blowing that money away too, then taking out more money from the ATM. That is exactly what happened and the thrill of winning just hours ago turned into one of the most unpleasant experiences at the casino. Now imagine this happening every time the person goes to the casino; yet they keep returning to live the nightmare time after time. This is what happens and it is inevitable and ultimately tragic. A recent article tells of one casino dealer who sees this happen quite regularly. So, if you are on the merry-go-round and stuck going round and round, get off the ride and start enjoying life again!
Soul Killer- Compulsive Gambling
Why is it that something that starts out as an enjoyable pastime or fun thing to do with your friends, ends up ruining so many lives? The answer is simple; winning is great, but gambling long-term is a sure loss. As the saying goes, the house always wins. Losing is not fun at all!
So often, a compulsive gambler is chasing lost money and before they know it, he or she has forfeited all sense of the real value of money and any true enjoyment they ever had at a casino or watching a sporting event. In addition, this type of gambling isolates people, takes all of their hard earned money, and destroys families and friendships. No wonder the human spirit of a gambler like this eventually becomes so broken.
Compulsive gambling is a very secretive disease, because unlike alcohol or drugs, there aren’t the obvious signs of abuse, such as the smell of alcohol, dramatic changes in behavior or DUIs. A person could be gambling on their phone or computer and no one would even know. Furthermore, they might say they are on an overnight business trip, but have really snuck off to a casino. There may be small signs a loved one notices, a look of irritability or stress, but these can be easily chalked up by the gambler to a long day at work. One of the saddest things about someone who has become a compulsive gambler is that although the signs might not be so obvious, the person is certainly struggling inside.
Eventually, the stress of these losses causes an internal fight for the gambler. How are they supposed to confide in another person? Typically the addict is ashamed and afraid to ask for help. Moreover, he or she might have the notion that one big win can get them out of their financial mess. But when that win never comes, the person can fall into more of a rut and their sense of well-being erodes. The feelings of depression, anxiety, hopelessness and shame set in. The cycle continues and typically gets worse over time as debt accrues. For the gambler this is a very scary place to be. Their human spirit is truly broken. A recent article discusses how gambling can cause so much unhappiness in a person’s life.
If you are unhappy because of your gambling, don’t give up hope. You can turn your life around and be free of the anxiety, stress and fear brought on by this insidious practice.
Williamsville Wellness Co-Sponsors Local Concert to benefit the hungry and the sick. It’s called Feed the Hungry, Heal the Sick, based on a concert series which has been done in other states. The concert will be held on Friday, April 28th from 6PM-10PM at the Byrd Theater in Carytown. There will be live music with a little dancing area upstairs. Diamond Heist will be the opening act, Richmond’s leading Neil Diamond Tribute band. The main act is Three Sheets to the Wind, a “Yacht Rock” band, with cover music from the 70’s and 80’s. Half of the money raised will go to the Feed More Organization, 20% will go to three local food programs, and 30% goes to a scholarship program at Williamsville Wellness for US veterans who have drug and alcohol issues.
Richmond has a long tradition of charitable fund raising. So, with that honorable tradition in mind Williamsville Wellness and the Knights of Columbus joined forces in organizing this fundraiser. Interestingly, the Knights of Columbus was started to help families who lost their bread winners. Moreover, Richmond is the perfect city, because of exciting venues like the Byrd Theater in which to host fundraisers and it’s about time to get back to the basics and help our community. For ticket information please visit: http://Feedthehungry.ticketleap.com/april-28th-2017/. Clear your calendar and come to this event; The Byrd Theater ! Two Bands! Great Music! Dancing! and a Great Cause!
So grab a friend and come over to the Byrd Friday night, April 28th to support these local, worthy causes.
If a person attends a Gamblers Anonymous then they will hear twenty questions at the beginning of the meeting. The questions are designed to give a person an idea of whether or not they might be a compulsive gambler. So, if you or someone you know might be on the fence of whether or not they need to get help then these questions might make things a little more clear for you or a loved one.
1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
3. Did gambling affect your reputation?
4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
7. After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
8. After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?
12. Were you reluctant to use “gambling money” for normal expenditures?
13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family?
14. Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?
15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry, trouble, boredom, loneliness, grief or loss?
16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?
17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
18. Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?
20.Have you ever considered self-destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling?
Most compulsive gamblers will answer ‘Yes’ to at least 7 of these questions. -Gamblers Anonymous
A recent article discusses how easily a gambling addiction can ruin a person’s life. The article points out how some people are ready for retirement and end up gambling their nest egg away. Moreover, other compulsive gamblers lose their homes, jobs and sometimes their marriages. A gambling addiction is devastating and these things can happen to you. If you think you might have a problem then getting treatment can save you and your family from much more grief than necessary.
Gambling Addiction and the Impact on Families is a real tragedy. Many times families suffer more than the addict. Often times the addict will tell his or her loved ones that they are done gambling. Then, soon after, they are gambling once again causing more anguish to those who care for them. So what should families do in these situations? One clear thing they can do is seek help from a medical professional or some type of support network such as a twelve step group or church.
The need to get support is crucial for any family member or friend. Support systems can help people learn about addiction and the importance of taking care of themselves first. All too often families spend so much time and energy helping their loved one with an addiction that they neglect their own physical and mental health. Active addiction is a stressful experience for everyone. One former patient recalled all of the times she had lied to her family about gambling and using drugs. She admitted that she was not a good liar but continued to do it so she would not “hurt” her mom and dad. The sad reality she found out later was that they knew she was lying to them about her addiction. Furthermore, the lying for her parents was one of the most hurtful and stressful things about her gambling and drug use.
One family learned that they just could not control their son’s addiction. It seemed like the harder they tried the more disappointment they got. So, they decided to just let their son know that they loved him and when he was ready for help they would be there. A recent article discusses a new technology to fight a gambling addiction and how addiction is such a difficult disease to beat.
No matter what the outcome families should know that they are not responsible for their son, daughter, husband or wife’s addiction. The only person who can stop their addiction is the addict themselves. But by having a support network in place families will not have to bear witness to this disease alone again! There is support out there which will make your lives much less stressful.
The Benefits of Protein.
Protein is so important to your overall health. So, whether you are an athlete or just a person trying to stay healthy, protein is essential for your body. It has many benefits and the way we get our protein is also important. For those gamblers in recovery protein helps you in all sorts of ways.
Let’s talk about the big picture of how protein helps people. Humans need protein because it is the building block of our cells and our muscles. Protein is necessary for so many things to our body. It helps muscles recover after a person works out or does any sort of exercise. In addition, protein helps a person heal from cuts or wounds. Your metabolism and fat burning qualities increase when you are taking in the right amount of protein. It also balances blood sugar and can help fight diabetes. Likewise, it will aid in reducing your appetite and is essential for brain function. Lastly, protein can help a person with depression and it can increase your energy levels. These are all things that people in recovery need to pay attention to.
But how does a person get the right amount of protein into their diet? Well, the general rule is that the minimum amount of protein a person needs each day is 0.5-0.7 grams of protein per pound of body weight. If you are exercise regularly the amount would increase to 1 gram of protein per day, per pound of body weight. Many people get their protein from meat, beans, dairy products, eggs, etc. The key point here is that a person needs organic sources of protein. A lot of restaurants and grocery stores sell products that are from animals that have been loaded up with hormones, antibiotics and steroids. This is not healthy protein. So, getting your protein from animals that are grass fed is the best way to go!
You can get your protein from other sources of food as well. Salmon, peanut butter, cottage cheese and mixed nuts are good sources of protein. Tofu and yogurt are other ways to increase your protein intake and remember these are all great sources of protein for your daily meals or snacks. Furthermore, be careful to watch all of the other unhealthy ingredients that might be in a protein snack. A recent article touts the importance of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich to many NBA players. But lots of snacks are loaded with sugar (like the PB&J) and other things that will decrease your energy levels. Just as important is eating a well balanced diet with plenty of water. Lastly, don’t forget all of the benefits protein will bring to you and how healthy it can make you feel.
So the next time you are feeling sluggish and do not feel like going to a meeting reach for some protein and in no time you will be motivated to head out of the house!