Okay, so no one is perfect. We all have our own quirky ways about things. Sometimes these ways are good and sometimes they are darn right offensive. These behaviors are often called flaws or character defects. For instance, brutal honesty might be a virtue that one person believes is a great thing. Yet, other people could get very offended by someone who “tells it like it is”. On the other hand, a person who lies may not think they are hurting anyone including themselves.
So, let’s examine someone who lies. Often in active addiction a person will deny that he or she has been drinking or drugging. The unfortunate thing about this is that the addict usually thinks they are getting away with it. But, in most cases the other person reads right through the lie. The lying creates lots of emotions for both parties. The person being lied to could feel anger, distrust, resentment and sometimes insecurity. Yet, the addict will do anything at cost to cover his or her addiction even if it means hurting someone.
Now, what about the alcoholic who lies? How might this behavior affect them? Initially, they could think they got away with one. But, the reality is that this behavior most likely will cause that person to feel either shame, guilt, regret or even disgust. Moreover, the person can start to feel depressed about themselves over time. If we were to look at another behavior like being impulsive then there would be more issues that would come up.
When a person surrenders to their addiction he or she is not only stopping substance use, they need to stop unhealthy behaviors too. Otherwise, the person will not get better. If nothing changes the person will likely drink or drug. So, with the help of others one can get rid of these character defects. It takes hard work and discipline but the results will be well worth it. A recent article tells how one former NFL quarterback is recovering from a drug addiction. It has been a long road for him and he discusses how he received the gift of desperation. He stresses that he is a work in progress. So, don’t forget the name of the game is progress not perfection!